Let me expand upon the theme of a previous blog…
Sometimes I sit in my backyard surrounded by a fence and envisioning an ocean – unending, so it seems, beautiful, majestic, and powerful. On first glance, there are few similarities. My yard is finite – the ocean seems infinite; the fence marks a boundary - the ocean seems boundaryless.
In helping one who hurts, there are of necessity boundaries – those of the caregiver and those of the person in need. The boundaries of the caregiver must include personal space and time, expertise or lack thereof, responsibility “to” the other person while not being responsible “for” the other person - to change their mind, heal their pain or shorten their grief. The other’s boundaries must include personal responsibility, degree of trust in the caregiver, how much or how little of their story they share and ultimately what they choose to do with the gift of care.
A friend was recently called upon to intervene in the lives of two family members, helping them deal with personal consequences of bad choices they had made. In helping, my friend became frustrated when she observed numerous examples of repeat poor choices.
Galatians 6 from “The Message” helps us understand the caregiver’s call - “If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day’s out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens and so complete Christ’s law….Each must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.”
The ocean-symbol is a picture of God’s care, His love, His desire and availability and ability to heal and bring comfort. So - whether you are the giver of care or the one in need of it, ponder your own fences and God’s ocean….and recognize your need for both!