1. Is there one thing that any of us can do that will make a difference in the lives of others? (The gift of listening!) Picture in your mind’s eye a difficult situation in your life – it may be last week or last month; it may be this morning. Now consider one of your primary needs during that crisis – my guess is that right up at the top of the list was someone to listen to you…non-judgmentally, non-critically, not trying to fix you or the situation, just to listen. What a gift!
2. In coming alongside of others who are grieving, are there helpful things to remember? (The gift of caring from your heart!) We can tell, can’t we, when someone really cares about us…really hurts with us….really wants to hear us tell our story….doesn’t just expect a ‘fine’ when they ask how we are doing.
3. How does one respond when someone asks you the difficult “why did this happen?” (The gift of pointing them to the “Light and the Shepherd who will never leave them nor forsake them!) “I wish I had the answer to that question – I wish I could give you a ‘magic bullet’ that would clear up the ‘why’s’ and ‘what next’ – but I do know that Jesus has said He will never leave us nor forsake us. He also can handle our anger – He loves us unconditionally and non-judgmentally."
4. What do you say to someone who tells you that they just don’t know what to say to a friend in crisis? (The gift of the ABC’s of caring!) Who you are; THAT you know; and that you care…”Hi, this is Barb, and I just heard about your husband’s cancer diagnosis. I am so sorry.” This takes away the awkwardness of – “do they know, should I say….?”
5. What if you have procrastinated in getting in touch with the friend who has suffered a loss – and you are embarrassed to reach out at this point? (The gift of ‘it’s never too late to care!) Send that card; write that email; pick up the phone. “Hi, this is Barb. I’ve been thinking about you so much and just wanted to call to touch base .”
6. Do you have to be a professional to offer grief care? (The gift of serving!) Loving and caring are gifts from the heart. Offering to pray with and for someone; sitting with someone (even in the silence); holding their hand; being the funnel through whom they can get any professional help they may need – all of these things require ‘heart preparation’ much more than a professional degree.
7. What do you tell someone who finds themselves in ‘over their heads’ in caring for another? (The gift of referring!) Do NOT be afraid to refer. While you may not be able to handle the needs of the person in crisis, you may be the perfect friend to help them get the help that they need.
CHOOSE ONE of the above – begin slow and small!