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The Hope of Heaven

This is a book to help those who minister to and walk alongside the despairing and those left behind when suicide invades their lives.  It gives insight with a first-hand look into the trauma of suicide contemplation and tools to be aware of the warning signals.  Grief takes as long as it takes, and the grief and shame which can accompany death by suicide makes healing complicated, and interwoven throughout are helps for coping and healing.  The uniqueness of this book is that it is interwoven around the 26-page handwritten journal, written by a woman just prior to her death by her own hand.  Suicide takes hold and emerges through a very dark tunnel; however, God is a God of hope, and there is hope of those who struggle.

Barb writes, “When I first read through Kathy's journal, I knew I was reading something that in all my years of pastoral ministry, I had never seen before. There are many who upon making the decision to take their lives, choose to write a suicide note to explain their pain and heartache, to ask for forgiveness for what they are about to do, perhaps to blame someone-even if that someone is them. However, I have not previously read such a complete journal that chronicles the hours just before her death (perhaps 36+ hours), not only detailing the act itself but the reasoning behind the how and why. Her journal describes a lonely, hopeless life, explaining why she could not stay here on this earth one more day. Yet through it all she did not lose sight of “the hope of Heaven!” Kathy was confident that she would be there. Kathy experienced both despair and hope”.

Some people ask, why another book on suicide? There must be hundreds. What makes your book unique? Here’s why. During the final 36 hours of Kathy’s life, she wrote a 26-page hand-written journal chronicling her life, what made it increasingly more miserable and why she could not stand to live another day on this earth. And yet, while she knew what she was about to do was wrong, she couldn’t wait to see Jesus and be free from her hopeless life of pain and misery. A photocopy of each of the actual 26 pages of her journal is the beginning of each of 26 chapters of the book. Then each chapter is Barb’s perspective related to something contained on that page that Kathy wrote.



"Thank you both so much for sending me this copy of Barb’s latest book. The book sat on my night stand for a matter of days.  I decided one evening to begin reading it, and I must tell you I read it without wanting to stop.  It was most thought-provoking, tenderly listening to Kathy, and being instructed by you, Barb.  I don’t have words to express my gratitude for such a profound work.  Your vulnerability with your family and personal experiences dug a deep trench into my heart.  Thank you for sharing so intimately with me and again for including me."

~ Bill D


"I just finished reading your new book and wanted to thank you for making this powerful resource available to those who are suffering survivors of suicide, as well as to caregivers.  

Reading Kathy’s journal and your tender, wise commentary helped me to fill in the remaining gaps of my own sister’s suicide, as she left no note. I thank you for making this available." 

~ Jan D


"I wanted to thank you for writing such a wonderful and thoughtful book that leans into suicide, depression, grieving and pain.   

Reading Kathy’s journal was both heartbreaking and compelling.  It truly is rare to have access to that depth of thought in the hours leading up to a suicide.

I really appreciated the unique format of the book with the short chapters coinciding with each page of the journal.  Your words of wisdom and comfort along with the beautiful integration of scripture brought a spirit of soothing and healing that I know many will find immensely helpful as they grieve and recover from suicides of friends and family members."

~ Mike