Running Out Of Hope
Barb Roberts | Wednesday, October 6, 2010 at 5:30PM Yet again, a young man takes his life – the news reports tell us. We cry out, “Oh, God, what is going on in our world?” There are so many who are hurting and hopeless and full of despair – they see no way forward. So…their best way is the way out…out of despair, out of pain, out of trouble, out of hopelessness. But, is that the only alternative? The only answer? The only path? God is a God of hope….hope in the midst of pain; hope in the center of the storm; hope in the hurt.
We read in Psalm 34:18 - "The Lord is close to the broken-hearted...."
Robert Veninga writes in his A Gift Of Hope "There is much that is not known about suicide. But this much we do know: There is a limit to the load any person can bear. And at that moment of self-destruction your loved one could no longer bear the burden. She was not weak. He was not a coward. The load was simply too much to bear."ngof Hope,
The choice of suicide as a way out is a permanent solution to what may be a temporary problem – simple but true! It is helpful to remind someone that they DID get through that other very, very difficult situation that at the time seemed equally hopeless. It is also helpful to listen to their pain, to their story, and to encourage them to express feelings and thoughts, to empathize with their suffering.
God has promised to NEVER, ever leave us nor forsake us…not now, not ever. How does the fact that God will not leave our side help? A friend and I sat with a woman today who has just been put in hospice care. She said to me that ‘she is scared.’ When I asked her to tell me more about that, she said she is afraid to be alone. I then said – ‘what if I could tell you that you do not EVER have to be alone again because God has promised never to leave your side. THAT IS HOPE!
Suicide is an intensely painful and deeply personal tragedy! What is the difference between the young man who suffers humiliation and exposure and despair – and chooses the only way he sees ahead – to end his life…and the one who struggles and stays in the pain and turmoil and tension of his struggles? Might the difference be hope – hope in the midst of pain and suffering and despair….hope that no matter how bad it gets there IS a future; there IS a way through this hard time? There is a personal God who cares and offers help!
We must take all suicide threats seriously (even if we suspect that it is a ‘plea for attention’). Inquire about their threats, about a possible suicide plan and the means to carry out that plan. Be a good listener. Make an open-ended statement, such as “I am so sorry that you hurt so much.” Allow expression of feelings and accept those feelings.
The person who is hopeless cannot see his or her way clear to come up with a plan of hope. We can help them with that plan, help them discover their options, put them in touch with resources and even offer to go with them to a counselor or agency that can help.
Listen to this from Romans 15:13…”May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” God who made us, understands how to fill us with hope in the midst of any situation.
Reader Comments (2)
Wonderful job, Barb, on a difficult and pressing need: hope!
Thanks, Barb. I always enjoy reading your posts and think this is right on target -- God is with us. It seems like this makes it even more important that people learn to hear the voice of God personally. Dallas Willard's book, Hearing God, was a big help to me in that regard. Also, the Eldredge stuff on Developing a Conversational Relationship with God and Walking with God have been enormously helpful. Perhaps others will find these resources beneficial also.